The beloved Ford Falcon is about as Australian as it gets. While it began its life as an American model, we soon claimed it as our own with design, development and construction commencing solely in Australia from the EA generation in 1988.
This true blue car actually predates the Holden Commodore's Australian-only design, development and construction by over a decade, considering the VE Commodore was the first to do so. All other predecessors were based on an international model - which you can read about here.
Ford's plans to export the Falcon failed on multiple fronts, with most going to New Zealand and only very few AUs making their way to Hong Kong as taxis; and some others in South Africa.
Yet, a few sneakily made their way across the other side of the world to live out their days under 25km/h for funeral concessions and limousines. One impressive hearse has been making rounds on social media recently.
This stanced funeral coach belongs to a British clothing brand called Sattire, and we reached out to Nathan Jones, the owner, to find out more about this epic car.
“My partner always used to say, ‘Oh, can we get a hearse', because she's a bit alternative and gothic... I was sitting on Facebook marketplace one day and a hearse of some description came up, and I was like, wait, because my brand, Sattire, had started trading at shows that year, and I was finding that I was increasingly running out of space,” said Jones
“The cogs started turning, and I posed the idea to a few friends, and one of them said, 'Oh, you can get one of these Ford Cardinals, which are based on a Falcon and they [fit old Japanese three-piece wheels].”
“The guy who was selling had a few for sale, and he sells second-hand funeral cars, and I ended up buying my one for £2200 ($AU4500).”
Jones became aware of just how strange it was to own a Falcon on the other side of the world when he started posting videos to social media.
“When I started posting videos, the Australian guys on TikTok and Instagram obviously picked up on it, and they were going crazy over it. I didn't really understand why, but obviously, I was aware of the 'Barra' engine hype from the likes of AdamLZ. I just didn't think much of it in the UK."
This specific model came out of a brand called Coleman Milne, which originally specialised in building hearses from European Ford models such as the Zephyr, Granada and Scorpio. It turned its attention to the Falcons, which are still fitted with the inline-six 4.0-litre 'Barra' engine - a uniquely Australian-developed, built and domestic market engine.
Ross Garner, Head of Engineering at Coleman Milne, told Drive that the coachbuilding company loved the Falcon for its reliability and size.
“We approached and worked directly with Ford Australia, and [we chose the Falcons] because at the time they were about 80mm wider than anything European, which meant it was more comfortable for three people across a seat row in a limousine and a larger hearse,” said Garner.
It wasn’t a small operation either, Coleman Milne told Drive that it imported around 1000 Falcons across 10 years into the United Kingdom, first starting with the AU model and then the BA, BF, FG and FGX, which actually puts it up there as one of the largest Australian Ford exporters of the 21st century.
“[It was difficult to maintain cars that were only sold in Australia], and it still is. There are a good few vehicles still in service (still liked for their size, powertrain and reliability) which we supply parts for,” said Garner
“We still deal with Australia now and ship some unique parts across when we need to. Where we can, we use aftermarket parts or, more commonly now, whatever is available. There are a few generic parts that are dimensionally the same on European vehicles we can use, too.”
While Jones from Sattire did have to import a few small parts himself, he managed to find the very few parts he needed by cross-referencing with other cars.
Brake pads and discs were the only thing this now decades-old car needed to keep it going. Besides some lowering blocks, Jones was able to find everything he needed online to modify his Australian hearse into a seriously cool marketing tool.
“I can see why the Aussies love [the 'Barra']. It's just massive, I couldn't believe the size of it. It drives really nicely, and it's actually quite fast considering how large the car is.”
The Sattire hearse isn't the only one of these coach-built Ford Falcons to reach international stardom either. The Coleman Milne Ford Falcons have been featured in many British dramas such as Doc Martin, Wire in the Blood, and Gangs of London, often being the director's choice of gangster-style limousines and funeral scenes.
If you want an up-close look at this seriously unique car, you can find Jones and his brand, Sattire, at modified car events throughout the English Midlands and occasionally other parts of the country in his uniquely Australian hearse.
Zane Dobie comes from a background of motorcycle journalism, working for notable titles such as Australian Motorcycle News Magazine, Just Bikes and BikeReview. Despite his fresh age, Zane brings a lifetime of racing and hands-on experience. His passion now resides on four wheels as an avid car collector, restorer, drift car pilot and weekend go-kart racer.
